


Say hello to my little friend

by theellibu



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Community: sd_ldws, Crack, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-07
Updated: 2012-03-07
Packaged: 2017-11-01 14:45:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/358024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theellibu/pseuds/theellibu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve thinks he's the raccoon whisperer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Say hello to my little friend

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the first round of sd_ldws over at livejournal. The prompts were _raccoon_ and _genre/cliché: crack_ , up to 300 words.
> 
> I blame Alex for this. And armillarysphere. It’s Alex’s fault because he made those comments at HIFF panel last year and Von’s fault for having such weird, hilarious conversations with me (not that I would have it any other way).

“Uh, Steve. What are you doing, babe?” Danny asks, standing behind Steve, observing the situation on the lanai for a minute; Steve sitting on the floor, making weird clicking, almost chittery noises, holding out a handful of nuts to a raccoon perched in front of him.

“I’m talking to my little friend here. What does it look like?” 

“It’s a raccoon.”

“I know.” 

“And you’re talking to it?”

“ _Him_. He’s a boy; he told me.”

Danny pinches his nose.

“He told you? Have you lost your mind, Steven? Did a coconut fall on your head while you were out for a run? Huh?”

“I went to Kenya once, and there was this tribe that communicated entirely through a range of clicking noises,” Steve says matter-of-factly.

“Well, of course, that explains _everything_ , thank you for clearing that up,” Danny replies sarcastically after a moment of stunned silence. 

“It’s classified, Danny.” Steve grins widely.

“You’re insane. Completely in- What’s it doing?” Danny almost shrieks as the raccoon takes a few steps towards Danny, tutting angrily, small arms waving.

“He doesn’t like your tie.”

“He doesn’t like my tie,” Danny repeats dumbly. He can feel a migraine coming on.

“We both agree that you should lose the tie. You need to start looking more native.”

“I was in court all day; I needed to look to professional. Why am I justifying myself? Raccoons don’t get to have opinions on my ties. Or anything else for that matter.”

Steve makes a soft cooing noise as the raccoon takes the last nut and disappears down the beach with one last, disapproving hiss in Danny’s direction. Steve turns to grin at Danny, and Danny knows he’s not going to like what comes next.

“You know, he kind of reminds me of you – small, furry, and angry.”


End file.
